My Thinking Board
Thoughts about this & that...
A short teaser
As she opened her eyes again, Valerie sobbed, and there was nothing she could do to stop her flowing tears. Caleb had died that night, as though her words had been what he needed for him to be able to move on.
“We were so happy, Cal!” She sobbed. “We’d spent almost every waking moment together since we were toddlers. I remember Mom telling Grandma how lucky we were to be born a month apart and live next door to each other because Helga, your nanny, was happy to babysit me. Then you got sick and spent a lot of time in the hospital… but when you felt better, we did everything together. I will never forget our first and only romantic kiss… when we were thirteen. It was so beautiful and felt so natural… That’s when we knew we were soulmates. Then you got sick, and a series of infections made you weaker with every passing day. I wish you were still here, healthy and happy.” She couldn’t continue her monologue. The deep, powerful sob overwhelmed her and erupted from her chest.
After she cried herself out Valerie whispered, “I miss you, more than I can put into words.” Wrapping her arms around herself, she leaned back on the bench, feeling the hardwood pressing against her upper back. “I didn’t want to, but I had to let you go. I couldn’t be selfish. I couldn’t ask you to fight when I knew how much you were hurting. I just… sometimes I wish something could have happened to me too, so we could be together. I don’t know how I’m meant to live this life without you, Cal. I keep on doing what I’m supposed to be doing, but my world is empty and colorless without you.”
A sudden gust of wind blew her hair and showered her with pink petals from the nearby magnolia tree. “Cal?” She whispered, but then shook her head. “It can’t be. I wish, but it’s just the wind.”
TEARS IN THE WIND
The world is so much colder
His name etched upon the granite
So final, so impersonal
Tears I've been holding back now free
They fall in rivers down my cheek
A soft breeze begins to blow
Magnolia petals float by
My tears join them in a dance
A dance of loss
A dance of remembrance
Listening, I hear his voice
Floating on the wind
~Cindy J. Smith
Thank you, Eva Pasco, author of great contemporary women’s fiction, for editing my book and catching all my pesky errors.
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